Just trust.

As I was on the phone with my parents today, my dad and I got on the topic of how the year 2010 has been for me. It has been an extremely difficult year for me. [and I certainly focused on that for several hours tonight] However, I am not here to write about all the things that have made this year difficult for me and expect a pity party. Instead, I would like to throw myself a "Look-What-You-Have-Accomplished-Despite-Your-Difficulties-and-Adversity" party.

There have been more than one occasion this year in which I have thought, "Heavenly Father, why? I know I am not perfect, but really?" And each time, the answer is the same, "It is because you aren't perfect, yet. It is because I love you and I want you to reach the potential that I see in you."

 I have cried 5 times this year. I have been

frustrated, 

                          disappointed, 
                                              baffled, 
                                                                inept, and 
                                                 bitter. 

I have smiled millions of times. I have laughed even more. I have been

ecstatic, 

                                             content, 

 fulfilled, 

                                                             gratified,                                                                

                                                 peaceful, 
                    confident, 
                                                    collected, 

                                                                                            

and comfortable. 

I have had my fair share of humbling experiences; I can't help but be grateful for them. As much as I wish life were easy, it's really not. And what may seem like difficulties to me may be a breeze for someone else. But I wouldn't have it any other way. My experiences and adversities shape who I am. I can't claim that I have ever felt that while going through a difficult time, but I am learning. I realize that I am still a child in so many ways. I'm still learning how to walk--how to walk in the footsteps of Christ.

As I was thinking about how difficult a year I have had [I believe I told my dad that "it has been the worst year of my life so far. I'm not a fan of 2010".] I couldn't help but think of the many blessings that have come from these difficulties. It may be in part because of the wonderful Thanksgiving spirit that has hit me, but I wanted to share a small list. [It will be small...ish. :) I can't help but share a lot sometimes.] It will only be the big major ones and only bits and pieces. Some things are too personal to put out in the open internet.

1. I tore my ACL in March and had surgery one week later on April 2nd. Shortly before this I had made the decision to continue my education at BYU. This decision was not one that I had taken lightly and was unsure why the Lord had prompted me to stay but once I tore my ACL I knew it was because I would be unable to afford living elsewhere because I wouldn't be able to work fire this summer. 

2. I was unable to work fire this summer. This brought on more difficulties than I care to share but amongst those was my difficulties with coworkers and that I was not making as much money as I would need for the next school year. As my summer progressed, I was able to become a much more humble and open minded person. I had to have this experience to better understand compassion and what it meant to have the True Love of Christ. 

3. I was in a major accident and I know without a shadow of a doubt that my life was spared only through divine intervention. Looking at the pictures of the truck, and having walked away without so much as a bruise, there is no other explanation. I had some very eye opening and personal experiences in the hour it took for people to find me. I wish that it hadn't taken such a big event for me to see and understand what I needed to see and understand but that is the foolishness of a stubborn young adult. To have that close of a near death experience, and to have had the personal experience I had while sitting on the door of a totaled truck in the middle of the woods waiting for rescuers, is one that I will contribute the rest of my life towards. 

4. I returned to BYU only to find that my housing had been foreclosed in early June and I would have to find new housing...5 days before the start of school. I lived out of my car for a couple days and crashed on a friend's couch. Just today, I found why exactly it was that I had to have such a frustrating and upsetting experience. I know that I needed to be in the ward I am in so that I could find what I had been looking for since I came to BYU--an understanding Bishop who would help me discover my strength and abilities as a person. His encouragement would also help me on the right path to serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I have only a few steps left to complete and just over a month before my papers are submitted. 

Through adversity comes blessings. We are being refined so that we might be perfected in Christ. I am grateful this holiday season for my adversities. I am grateful that there will one day come the time that I will see in my own reflection, the countenance of Christ. [Referencing this wonderful story that is much shorter than my post and should therefore be read: The Refiner's Fire]

I hope to post again soon but if I don't, Happy Thanksgiving! 

"Chelsea, why are you worried? You know that Heavenly Father loves you and has a plan. Take a deep breath and just trust."

thanks, dad. 

a pocketful of memories & a dedication to kind strangers.

Yesterday, I had the privilege of bowling with three of the most beautiful women on BYU campus! (And they are single! I don't know how but I would jump on it boys!)

Laura, Kelsey, Hillary, and me! Hil's 21st!

Anyway, we were talking and Laura insisted that I write down some of my memories that I had shared with them. So, I did. And now I'm putting them on here. Enjoy...

October 29, 2010: Halloween weekend! I decided to venture down to see my favorite brothers in Ephraim, UT. I packed up my bags and left after my last class--which just so happens to be rush hour. Go figure. Anyway, while stopped at a stoplight, I looked in my side mirror only to see a face staring directly at me. And then they waved. I didn't know what else to do and figured that something bad might happen if I offended them and didn't wave back so I waved as well. The light turned green and I started forward headed for the on ramp. My windows were down and I was enjoying the perfect weather. Moments later, I heard someone yelling. I turned and there, right next to me was this same guy. He waved, smiled, and yelled, "You are BEAUTIFUL!" before driving off never to be seen again. It made my weekend and when I have a bad day I love to think about it. Thank you, random stranger. 

November 17, 2010: This was just a 2 days ago. I had been sitting with the beautiful Laura while she ate lunch when 2 girls came by to tell us that we should donate blood because there wasn't a line. I hadn't donated in a while so I promptly took them up on their offer. It took less than 10 minutes to get back behind their little partitioner to answer the questions. That should have been quick and easy but the system crashed and I had to answer the questions 3 times. Fortunately, I had a really nice guy, Benji, to help me out! We were talking about his wife of 3 years (high school sweet hearts! So cute, right?) and how they "have a Max". Suddenly, in the middle of the story about Max, he interrupts himself and says, "Can I just say that you are a great catch? You will be an awesome wife and someone will be really lucky to have you." Why, thank you, Benji! And then he continued on as if nothing had happened. Strangers can be so kind.

And last, but not least!, is one that happened at the beginning of the summer. 

I wish I knew the exact date but I don't feel like going back that far on my facebook to find it. 

I was back in L-town and on my way out of Safeway. [For those from L-town, the adorable old man in the story is Doc.]  He was standing in front of me in line, hitting on the cashier (of course) asking her to marry him. She kindly declined and he shuffled towards the exit. I only had one or two items so we reached the door about the same time. He turned to me as we approached it and and said, "That's what happens when you get old and ugly... Will you promise me something? Stay young and beautiful just the way you are, right now. Will you promise me that?" Yes, Doc. I will stay young, beautiful and 20 for the rest of my life, just for you. 

It's moments like these that I remember when I pass people on my way to classes, at the store, or on the sidewalk. I hope that I can be this kind to someone, that they will cherish something I have said to them for forever, and that it is something that has helped them feel good about themselves. Have you made someone's day lately?

Webster's New World college Dictionary. [4th Edition]

So, about a week and a half or so ago

[ok, sometime recently I don't really know when {I actually know the exact

 day but don't want to admit it}] 

I met someone. And I described them as intimidating. Which is weird for me since I don't think I have ever used that word to describe someone in reference to how I feel about them. In fact, I even pulled out my dictionary

 

[yes, I do own an actual dictionary and I don't just use the internet. NERD? Maybe.] 

and looked the word intimidate up. And promptly rethought my usage.

intimidate: 1. to make timid; make afraid; daunt. 2. to force or deter 

with threats or violence; cow. 

I don't find this person intimidating...I find them...some other word. I even used the thesaurus to try and find what I want to say but couldn't find the right word. I'm intrigued, in awe, and impressed with. This person makes ME feel reserved 

[say wha!?]

and bashful. 

[How does that even happen?] 

Needless to say, I am greatly impressed and I guess yes, intimidated for the use of daunted, by them. I suppose I should take this experience and embrace it. I hope that I get to know this person better

[although I know I will always be intimidated when I'm with them] 

so that I can learn to be as inspiring. 


Not only has this person successfully made me feel bashful and reserved, but they made me remember my beloved dictionary.

[I have to admit that I have most definitely tried to read the entire dictionary before...

I made it to the letter D before my brothers found out and told everyone at school where 

I was teased so much that I stopped reading it. 

And now everyone who forgot that 

{who bothers to read this blog} 

will tease me about it all over again. 

But I actually am impressed with me 12 year old self so it's ok.] 

I am a such a nerd. Self proclaimed nerd. I love words. I find them really fascinating. Weird? Well, DUH, but really fun...for a nerd like me. Thinking of words of course got me back into trying to figure out my word. 

[like how in Eat, Pray, Love the author finds out what the one word she 

would use to describe herself would be. I'm still trying to figure mine out]. 

Any ideas?! Maybe I'll start reading the dictionary again to find one. 

Yo.

Oh, hi. It's a Monday night. And what am I doing? Yes. Not homework. Instead, I am listening to Josh Groban (Holiday) & Jamie Cullum mix on Pandora. It's fabulous and you should make that exact custom mix. I won't judge you for copying me.

Newest love of my life:

[thanks, google images. Jamie Cullum, ladies & gents. {if only I had a REAL picture of him. That would mean I would have been in person with this amazing talent... can you imagine!?}]

What I should be doing is studying Ecology. More specifically: populations. BUHH-ORRRR-INNNNG. Instead, I am in my leggings, my Christmas sweatshirt from the DI, my wool socks and I am dancing around my room to the best music ever. (see above if you weren't paying attention!) I love the awesome jazzy style. And the piano. OH, it speaks to my soul!

I have also been doing my fair share of blog stalking hoping to receive amazing inspirations. Which I have. Thanks, blog world. Soon, I will post about my creations. But for now, I shouldn't be on here and am so I have to be quick. Wish I could stay longer! If you have fabulous music suggestions, throw them my way. I love music.

Toodles.

I wonder...

I was listening to this song: When God Made You. Yes, it's a love song, but I started thinking about the part where it says, "I wonder what God was thinking when He created you."

I believe that I will add that to my list of questions for Him when I see Him face to face. "Heavenly Father, what were you thinking when you created me? What did you see me accomplishing? What were your dreams and hopes for me?" [and keep my fingers crossed I lived up to it.] 

Until then, I am happy to be trying to figure it out on my own by discovering new things about my capacity to do anything and everything while I'm alive. Example: today I found out that I have this need to tell people embarrassing things about me. There is not a single embarrassing moment in my life that has not been told to at least 4 other people. (those 4 being my immediate family so you know more people know.)

What do you think God was thinking when He created you?

*Very obviously it was something to do with your ability to touch and change other's lives. That's definitely part of it. I know we each have the innate ability to touch and change lives. How awesome is that!?

You're Gonna Be...

Yes, I changed the name of my blog. As much as I love cupcakes, I decided on something different. Maybe it's because I'm in the kind of mood where I am feeling nostalgic, but I chose Dandelion Fluff. Why? Well, that's a little more difficult to explain. I don't know about you, but when I hear dandelion fluff, I think of my childhood. I remember being out in my yard and being ecstatic to find a full white dandelion that I could send my wishes out on through the air, hoping that some universal power would find my wishes scattered across the world and make them come true.[Did you ever accidentally snort them up your nose, or was that just me?] My imagination was alive with possibilities; I was whoever and whatever I wanted to be. Maybe that's what I'm hoping for now; that someone out there will find my wishes floating along and grant them; that I can keep my imagination of who I am and will be close at hand since I suddenly find myself an "adult".

[I adore this picture. I don't know who took it; I found it online and it takes me into a new world everytime!]

I was thinking today about growing up. I have to say...I don't really care for it too much. I don't like bills, groceries, laundry, work...the list goes on. As I was considering finding a way to build a time machine, I thought about my future [remember, I blogged about it last time? And was so excited?] and decided I wouldn't want to go back. I loved being a kid. [High school is a different story] But would I want to go back to being blissfully unaware of so many things? [Well, YES, but that's not the point]. Look at where I am now. I am that person that I dreamed of being as a little girl. I support myself, I'm at an esteemed university, I have the most loving family and friends I could ever ask for...my possibilities are endless still. What struck me the most through this thought process was the people in my life; and the people from my past who didn't quite make it to my future. [Thank you, by the way. Most of you I don't talk to anymore but you certainly shaped me into who I am. It was hard and I didn't see the value in the way I was treated but now, I owe you my life. You may not be in my life anymore {for good reason} but know that you were a catalyst in bringing to pass this beautiful, bright {young}woman with an equally bright and beautiful future.]

I found a song that I forgot I love and couldn't help but think how well it works with my thoughts for the day. It's "You're Gonna Be..." by Reba McEntire. [I would post a link to the video but the video doesn't have really anything to with my thoughts! You can youtube it yourself if you like.] I won't share ALL the lyrics because that would be long and annoying but here's a couple lines:

You're gonna fly with every dream you chase
You're gonna cry, but know that that's okay
Sometimes life's not fair, but if you hang in there
You're gonna see that sometimes bad is good
We just have to believe things work out like they should
Life has no guarantees, but always loved by me
You're gonna be...


I couldn't help but think of my parents; both here on earth and my Heavenly Father and Mother. When I read this, or hear the song, I know that that is exactly how the feel for me. That is the greatest comfort I could have. 


‘Cause anything worth doing is worth doing all the way
Just know you'll have to live with all
the choices that you make
So make sure you're always givin' way
more than you're takin' 

I know that life isn't easy or fair [no matter how many dandelions I wish on] but that it is MY life. I have learned from my parents that truly anything worth doing is worth doing all the way. I'm not a quitter. I am stubborn and that's why I know I'll make it in this life. I'm too stubborn to let a perfectly good life go to waste. I make mistakes [a lot more than I would like to admit] but that's ok. Even though I am growing up, there are a lot of child like attributes I know I need to keep around for the rest of my life. [Know that there is always a small {albeit fiesty} little girl inside of me that loves to goof around, make silly faces, wrestle her brothers, and make awkward moments.]

1. Be ridiculous with my brothers. Say awkward things with them, make funny faces in ALL our family pictures, and be obnoxious when in stores and public places.


2. Call my mommy and daddy when something goes horrible wrong [even if it is just to tell them and I have already corrected the problem. I should get some sympathy! {and yes, still call them mommy and daddy whenever I want}]


3. Change my clothes about 15 times a day. [this has gotten a little pricier as I am the one doing laundry now...but I just can't resist. I like to be comfortable and my comfort level changes a lot!]


4. Jump in puddles and on crunchy leaves. [Dancing in the rain is always a must as well]


5. Swing on the swings.


6. Sing off key, out of tune, and make up my own words to any song I please.


7. Love and trust unconditionally.


8. Remember to give hugs and affection to anyone and anything. [I distinctly recall having talked to every inanimate object I owned when I was younger and thanking them and telling them stories...]


9. Laughing. And smiling. Always. [or when there is a time for tears, cry, find a new interest or toy and promptly forget that I was crying.]


10. Trust in the Lord, pray always, and bear my testimony as often as I get the chance.

Traffic School & the Future.

So. It's been a while. And I have nothing really to show for it. Except that I officially finished Traffic School (online).

[Traffic school is not fun. And it consumes your life. Don't ever get a ticket.]

Although, I have so little to show from it in productivity, it has certainly been an interesting week or so. I've learned a lot about myself. But first, my creative moment that I'm so proud of!

I went to DI in search of picture frames. [they have great frames for super cheap! And they have cute old school ones, so of course I had to buy a couple.] Anyway, I ventured into the back on a little adventure and wouldn't know you I found a treasure! It is a vintage suitcase, avocado green. My friends laughed when I said I was buying it. They couldn't see it's potential as I did. This is the end result:

I am happy to have it sit on my dresser. I love it. And I love even more that it sits next to my Family: A Proclamation to the World.

{Also, this is the 5th or 6th time I have started this post. So I have a completely different topic now and no segue-way}.

I was thinking a LOT about my future lately. 

[sometime soon I will post my exciting news! Just not now; I'm still digesting it myself!] 

Last year, when I was a RA, and we did an exercise where we had to lie down and completely relax.

[when you are with a bunch of friends who are all doing the same thing, everyone just laughs and it can be really difficult!]

So, you lie down and completely clear your mind [blah blah blah. All that relaxing stuff]

Once you are completely relaxed the lady starts telling you to imagine it is 10 years down the road and you are just waking up. She guides you through a whole day of what you imagine your life to be in 10 years. I have to say that I absolutely loved it. I won't share allll my details but here's a look at what I hope my life is like:

[I could describe exactly what my room would look like but A. boring for you and 2. kind of weird if I did that. I will show you a picture of the kind of bed I want to make that I want, though.]
My bed

And I want to be living down a dirt/gravel driveway on a couple of acres of land. With a gorgeous old barn and a beautiful meadow for my horses (one will be a frosted roan).

 [Yes, I am a country girl. And I love every second of it.]

We'll have a beat up old pick up that is more work than it's worth. And dogs and kids running around. And out back a tire swing on an old tree with my garden. 

I can't wait to have my garden. 

I can already picture it.

One part for vegetables [squash, zucchini, tomatoes, snap peas, carrots, pumpkins, asparagus; my mouth is watering with the possibilities!] and the rest for my flowers. 

Currently, I go to boutiques and antique shops looking for the kinds of old things I will put in it. 

Anyway, I can basically picture my entire house as I go about my life of feeding the horses and the dogs, watering the garden and the lawn, doing laundry, making meals, making cute crafty stuff in my own little room where I can quilt and scrapbook my little heart out, probably working if the kids are older, and giving my handsome husband a kiss when he gets home from his job. 

Yep. This may sound like a ridiculous life to some people but I can hardly wait. 

So, that's what's been on my mind. What's on yours?