with love, Chelsea
Writing this talk was a little difficult for me. A lot easier than writing about the first topic I was given—the millennium. Thankfully I was asked to instead speak on my mission experience. As most everyone is aware, my mission experience was much shorter than anticipated and I never made it out of the MTC. I had so many wonderful experiences in my short time that it’s difficult to express my feelings about my mission. What is even more difficult is trying to put into words what my mission did for me. I learned more about myself and who I was, and more importantly who I was in Heavenly Father’s plan, than I have at any other time in my short 21 years here on earth.
Picking out what to talk about proved to be pretty hard. I thought long and hard about it though and decided to share a couple things that have quite literally changed who I am. First, I’ll share something that I discovered on my own and then I’ll follow up with a talk that Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave to the missionaries while I was at the MTC.
The MTC is nothing short of…well…a magical place in all honesty. Everyone will have their own feelings and opinions about their experiences in the MTC but I loved it. You are amongst some of the most amazing individuals 24/7—except for those who work there as teachers and janitors and security guards, everyone there is set apart. You are surrounded by hundreds of people who have the mantel of the Lord upon them and the feeling in the MTC is one you would be hard pressed to find in any other place. There is the greatest feeling of love, acceptance, and the Spirit of God. You spend your time studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ so that you might be able to help others and change their lives. The catch with this is that you can’t help change other people’s lives until you’ve changed your own.
One of the many things that changed who I was was an experience I had while reading in Ether 2. This is the story of the Brother of Jared. At this particular point, the Brother of Jared has built barges with which to cross to the promise land but is concerned because there is no light or air in the barges. In verses 22-25 he discusses this problem with the Lord.
22 And he cried again unto the Lord saying: O Lord, behold I have done even as thou hast commanded me; and I have prepared the vessels for my people, and behold there is no light in them. Behold, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness?
23 And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels? For behold, ye cannot have awindows, for they will be dashed in pieces; neither shall ye take fire with you, for ye shall not go by the light of fire.
24 For behold, ye shall be as a awhale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the bwinds have gone forth cout of my mouth, and also the drains and the floods have I sent forth.
25 And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?
I know that I always heard my Sunday school teachers tell me to apply scriptures to my own life but until the very moment I read this scripture, I had struggled with applying what had happened hundreds and hundreds of years ago, to my own life. However, we know that the Book of Mormon was written for our days, with us in mind. We are the very people that the ancient prophets saw in visions. The long and short of it is I applied these scriptures to myself. Rather than reading this as the story of the Brother of Jared, I read it as my own story. I had been sick from almost the moment I entered the MTC with bronchitis and fatigue amongst other things. Didn’t this trial I was facing count as a “great water” as the Brother of Jared called it? The most life changing phrases I found as I read where the words of the Lord.
In verse 23 the Lord explains what the Brother of Jared can NOT have in the barges. No windows or fire. I’m sure we are all familiar with being told what we can’t have. However, in verses 24 and 25, the Lord describes to the Brother of Jared what his great journey will be like. For me, He described my life.
24 For behold, ye shall be as a awhale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the bwinds have gone forth cout of my mouth, and also the drains and the floods have I sent forth.
25 And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?
Heavenly Father gives us our challenges—they are from Him. As He says in verse 25, “..ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you…” His final words in chapter 2 are, “Therefore, what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?” Rather than provide an answer for the Brother of Jared, Heavenly Father asks him what he wants. The Lord does this in our lives, too. While it may be frustrating because we want Him to just tell us what to do, we have our own agency and it is our life.
The story then continues in chapter 3. The Brother of Jared thinks about what he would ask of from the Lord and then goes before Him again. He has brought before the Lord 16 stones that he himself has made. He then bows before the Lord in humble prayer and asks that the Lord if might have these 16 stones be a light unto him in his travels through the sea. Once again, I read this as my own story and not the Brother of Jared’s. Heavenly Father loves me enough to give me challenges and to push me to become better. He also provides a way for me to overcome these challenges but doesn’t just give them to me. Instead, I must take before Him my own “16 Stones” that I have prepared so that the Lord might make them a light unto me in my journey.
I did just that. I wrote down my own “16 Stones”. I prayed about them and then presented them as things in my life that I would like to have to help me through my journey. As each of us is unique and each of our own stories are unique, our 16 Stones will be very different from each others, but I would like to share some with you. When I first came up with these stones, I was fully expecting to be on my mission for the next 18 months. Therefore, I wrote down what I thought would help me on my mission. What I didn’t know, is that as the Holy Ghost guided and directed me, I was actually writing down what would get me through this difficult part of my journey.
- Testimony
- Patience
- Knowledge
- Charity
- Eyes to see tender mercies
- Change and the ability to accept change
- Obedience
- Strength
- The companionship of the Holy Ghost
- The gift of Discernment
- Family and Friend Support
- Diligence
- Humility
- Virtue
- And Hope
I have a testimony that the Lord has blessed me with each of these gifts. I have a firm testimony that while our trials are hard and difficult and sometimes seemingly unbearable, that they are from the Lord. I can’t know what I know and look at the Lord and be angry with Him and ask, “Why me?” Instead, I know that this is my opportunity to develop an even stronger testimony of the love my Heavenly Father has for me and the true meaning of the Atonement.
Finally, I would like to share something that Elder Holland shared. His talk changed every aspect of my life. I don’t mean this with any exaggeration, either. If I could pinpoint a moment where my life changed, it would be during this talk. As part of his talk, he did a question and answer period. I don’t know that I have ever received that good of advice let alone a full hour of it. There were two questions though that impacted the way I conduct myself. The first question was this, “What is the most important thing that Jesus Christ wants us to know right now?”
Elder Holland
He told the truth. Everything that Jesus Christ said was true. You can believe Him and trust in the Lord with all thine heart.
I want everyone here to know that I know that Jesus Christ told the truth. I know that He is our Savior, He truly is the only Begotten Son of God. I know that what He taught about love, charity, virtue, integrity, all of it is true. I know that He suffered for ME and had it been that I were the only person who needed saving, that He would do it anyway. That He would do it for each of us and that He has. I know that He has felt what I am experiencing, what I have experienced, and what I will experience in my future. I believe Him. I don’t just believe IN Him, I believe Him. I believe all of His teachings and I strive to do my best to be someone that He can be proud of—who is worthy of the great sacrifice He made.
The second question was, “Why does God love us?”
Elder Holland
“I am not perfect, there is nothing in this life that I can claim to be perfect at. However, I am nearly perfect in the love that I have for my children. There is not anything I would not do for my children in righteousness. If that is true for a simple man in mortality, how could it not be even more so for our Heavenly Father who IS perfect. He gave the Perfect One for the imperfect ones. We literally, truly, eternally are His children.”
I know this to be true. Each night and each morning, I start my day off with a prayer. Sometimes it is a simple one, others it will last for quite some time. Why? Because I am speaking with my Father in Heaven and I know that He cares about me and wants to hear from me. I know that He cares for each of us and wants to hear from each of us. He wants us to sit down and tell him about our day—just like our parents did when we came home from school when we were little. He is our literal Father in Heaven and He always will be. He will always care for us and will always want the best for us. He wants to know what happened in my day even if it was the same thing that happened yesterday, even if I spent the day being sick. I know this to be true.
My mission was short but it changed me. I wouldn’t trade the experience. I wouldn’t have had my health taken care of before I left had I known what would happen. I know that the Lord has a specific plan for me and that I am where I need to be right now. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. I can’t express the joy I experience by knowing that my family will be together through eternity. I know that my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me and I believe Him.
I say these things in the name of my Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ, amen.
