Word of the Day

Fret [fret]

-verb

• to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent, or the like
• to become eaten, worn, or corroded
• to torment; irritate, annoy, or vex

-noun

• an irritated state of mind; annoyance; vexation

Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if all of my worry and fretting is justified or if perhaps it's some other word that is gnawing at me. [Like terrified, overwhelmed, confused, panicked, or completely off the wall freaking out. Take your pick.]

Patience is a hard thing to learn.

So is life.

There is definitely a storm coming.

Walk of Life.

back·ground
[bak-ground]
–noun
1. the ground or parts, as of a scene, situated in the rear (opposed to foreground).

2. one's origin, education, experience, etc., in relation to one's present character, status, etc.

3. the social, historical, and other antecedents or causes of an event or condition: the background of the war.

4. the complex of physical, cultural, and psychological factors that serves as the environment of an event or experience;the set of conditions against which an occurrence is perceived.

I realized something today that I probably should have realized a long time ago. Maybe I already knew it but it never really occurred to me. 

When you are going through pictures do you ever notice some random person in the background? It happens all the time. Completely commonplace. However, I don't think I have ever thought of myself as being in the background of other people's photos. 

It has never occurred to me that there are probably hundreds of photos that I am in floating around the internet and for that one small moment, I was a part of a stranger's life. 

It happens every single day, but did you ever realize that you are in the background of someone else's life? I included [most of] the definition[s] for the word background above. 

Why? Mostly because I'm a word nerd and partly because at one point it had some relevancy. Perhaps you can figure out how my mind works and explain why it's there.

I guess what I'm getting at is that sometimes we forget there are other people around us, other people are making memories, they're laughing, crying, talking, thinking. Just like I am. I may be in the foreground [brought it back to the definition. Score one for Chelsea] of my own life but to others I am just another back up dancer or passenger in their ride of life. 

Weird, right?

courtesy of.

And here's a cool picture that has basically nothing to do with what I was talking about.

Except maybe to think of how small we are when compared to the rest of the earth and how it's an amazingly wonderful blessing to have our own story and be able to be in the background of so many other people's.

I asked God who I'm supposed to be...

I have a lot on my mind today. [As I do everyday...] However, the foremost question I have on my mind came from listening to this song [click me!] I've asked the question, "Who am I supposed to be?" a million and one times. Probably more. It feels like every time the answer changes; and yet, it's almost always exactly the same. 

Once upon a time, I was a little girl. I used to dream of who I would become and the things I would do with my life. I used to dream of being a doctor, of helping people, of being a wife, a mother, a best friend, an accomplished woman living in some big city wearing fancy clothes, the luckiest girl in the world because a real true Prince Charming came and whisked me away to be a Princess of a foreign country, a scientist who discovered a cure-all for every disease ever, an explorer of an exotic land, a major athlete, an actress and I'm fairly certain at one point I wished I could be a unicorn. A precious few of those goals were attainable [like being a unicorn!] and even fewer are ones I still have in my life.  But just because it's what I want, doesn't necessarily mean it is what I should be. 

Life is full of choices and that is what defines its meaning. I have the choice to be a doctor or a wildlife biologist, I have the choice to skip church on Sunday or to go, I have the choice to eat a piece of toast or a banana. From big to little, we make choices every day. I don't know that I have ever had an immediate answer when faced with a question [even the toast or banana one! That's a hard choice!] but I do know that I won't always make the right choice the first time around. I make mistakes, I stumble, I fall, I cry, and I get frustrated beyond belief with how human I am. [The unicorn dream is looking really great about now] Every day I have to apologize for hurting someone, for wronging someone, for falling flat on my face. I also have the privilege of every single day having the opportunity to do so. I have the opportunity to learn something new, to ask forgiveness and forgive others, to smile, laugh, dream. There is, however, one thing I can not apologize for. And that is being human. I understand that each of us are human and we all make mistakes. I have learned [and sometimes have to re-learn] to forgive others. I hope and pray that those who I have hurt or may think I have wronged them will be able to forgive me. 

In a world that is full of strife and struggle, there is a hope for a better day. It's up to us to make that day better. 

I asked God who I'm supposed to be....as far as I can tell, he wants me to be human and learn from my mistakes, forgive, love, serve, and be someone that others look up to.

In a world where pollution and destruction reign, it's a true testimony that our own souls can be this beautiful despite our follies and mistakes when you see how wonderfully hard this earth is trying to be this gorgeous.

Hand-Me-Downs

I heard a song on the radio the other day that talked about a girl with "a hand-me-down name." Actually, I have heard it almost every day for the past month or so. Which means that I have been thinking about the term "hand-me-downs" for the past month...every. single. day. Maybe I am just really strange but have you ever thought of what that term means?

For some, it may evoke an image of old clothes from an older sibling, an old beaten up baseball mitt from years past, a broken down dinosaur of a car that each of your siblings drove before you, old books, furniture, blankets, stuffed animals, toys, and appliances. It might provoke emotions such as resentment, disgust, and embarrassment. To me, it is so sad that such a beautiful term has such negative thoughts and feelings attached to it.

I don't picture any of those material objects. Rather, the term "hand-me-downs" inspires me. Let me explain before you chalk this nonsense up to no sleep. When I hear those 3 words strung together, I think of my family, the Gospel, hope, beauty, laughter, inspiration, joy, inheritance, and responsibility. In my mind, I picture my mom--to me, she handed down her sense of humor, her chin, her nose, her love for life, her creativity, her passion. I picture my dad--he handed down his eyes, his hard work ethic, his love, his compassion, his understanding, and his passion for scripture reading. Most importantly, they both handed down the Gospel.

Are you following me yet? Let me explain further. I picture a high school teacher and the love of learning and the true meaning of listening she handed down to me. I picture the Founding Fathers and this great nation and the Constitution that they have handed down to me. My mind flashes with people who have touched and influenced my life, whether they know it or not. I have been blessed with some of the greatest "hand-me-downs" in the universe.

Finally, I picture future generations, I picture people in my life now, people that will come into my life, people that will leave my life and I wonder, "What am I handing down? Are my hand-me-downs worth keeping?" The following links will take you to a hand-me-down I have been given that I would like to pass on.

Hand-Me-Down and Pass me on.

What hand-me-downs do you plan to pass on to others?  Is it hope? A love a life? A passion? Is it something that will continue to grow and is worth handing down? I pray every day that what I have to offer is worth passing on.

Next Chapter, Please.

I am finally back. It's weird that I haven't posted in a while because it's definitely not that I haven't had the time. I guess it was more of the fact that I haven't known what to write about. Which is also weird since I always have something to talk about.

[and right now I'm just rambling because I still don't know what to 

write about. I thought about doing my New Year's resolutions 

but those a kind of personal to me and every one is doing it.]

Currently, I am sitting in the library. It's the 3rd day of classes and I'm already behind. Go figure. Anyway, I basically live here. If they offered housing here in the library, I would be the first to sign up. Also, a guy just walked down the stairs and was cheering me on in my studying  (lots of talking really loudly, pointing his finger, winking, and general obnoxiousness). I've never seen him...ever. But thanks, I guess?

Is it crazy that I already feel like I'm in over my head in everything that is going to happen this semester? I have so much going on. I got a job as an RA and moved out of my crazy living situation, I am taking too many classes,  I have some new responsibilities to take on, and I'm really anxious to get my mission call.

[Yep, that is correct. I turned in my mission papers 

and am very (im)patiently waiting for my call to arrive 

within the next 2 weeks or so! Any guesses on where I might go for 

the next 18 months of my life?]

Life is crazy hectic and I have to remind myself to take deep breaths but at the same time to keep going. When I take breaks, I realllly take breaks....like, don't do anything for 2 or 3 weeks at a time.

2011 I have high hopes that you will be much kinder than 2010.