A post about BOYS. And the stupid things they do.

Yes, I am still alive. It's been quite sometime but I'm still here. And I'm about to do something I did not think I ever would for fear that people mentioned may find and read this. However, said people aren't really important in my life so I'm doing it anyway.

This is a post to almost all the boys I've dated and the stupid stuff they've done to me. I hope you can laugh about them like I have and if you happen to be one of the offenders...I'm not looking for an apology and I'm definitely not hung up on you [and I hope you've grown from the experience and if not can learn a little something today!]

STUPID THINGS BOYS SHOULD NEVER DO [the following are all true experiences with the least amount of exaggeration added and definitely not in chronological order.]

1. Don't buy me an ID bracelet. I know my name. Just a cute piece of jewelry without my name on it is fine.

2. Don't ask me on a date to a fancy restaurant, break your arm the day before, make me cut up all your food for you PLUS carry your dessert from the buffet and then ask me to pay.

3. Don't be talking to me, bring up something personal, and then say, "Oh actually my girlfriend is here right now and I don't feel comfortable talking about it right now. Want to come over around 11 or so tonight?"

4. Don't blow a raspberry on my neck. Or try to on my stomach. Or my foot. I AM NOT 3.

5. Don't tell my friends that while you don't believe I will be good at something you still think I need to do it because I need to learn to be an adult and grow up. You tried to blow a raspberry on my stomach!

6. Don't tell me that you've received revelation that I need to go on a mission. (MORE THAN ONE BOY!)

7. Don't date me off and on for several months and then show up to church with your girlfriend and make ME sit next to her and answer the awkward question of, "so how do you know these guys?"

8. Don't ask me for help filling out scholarships and reading your poorly written essays, kiss me, tell me I'm wonderful and then inform me that you'd ask your girlfriend (now wife) but she isn't exactly the smartest.

9. Don't take me on a date and tell me beforehand that the last girl you took here was in better shape than me and you aren't sure if I'll be able to make it all the way.

10. Don't hint at getting my number repeatedly, steal my phone and put it in with any of the synonyms for "Stud" or "Hunk" and then introduce me to your fiance later that evening.

11. Don't take me to a family get together, insist I be in the family photo for the blog and then grab my butt as the picture is being taken.

12. Don't date me off and on for several months and then later inform me that you, "Never actually had any feelings" for me.

13. Don't call me a B***h and then say you only call me that because you love me.

14. Don't get gum stuck in my hair while we're watching a movie and then not tell me! Do you know how hard it was to get out!?

15. Don't take me to "the most redneck restaurant I could find" because I wear cowboy boots and grew up in a small town.

16. Don't squeeze my side and say, "Vending machines?"

17. Don't tell me I've been having trouble getting dates because, "Well, it's hard to get dates when you aren't pretty. I'm sure you can find something else to try and make up for it. Maybe you should wear lower cut shirts."

18. Don't ask if I lost all the weight out of my boobs when you haven't seen me in a while and I'm skinnier.

19. Don't dump me and in the same minute ask me where I'd like to be married.

20. Don't text me the day after you've told me that you never had feelings for me and ask how I am and other questions about my personal life. Once you've told someone you not only don't have feelings for them but NEVER did, you aren't privy to their personal life.

There are so many more but I'm tired of reliving my horrific dating life. Does anyone else have anything horrible a guy said or did to you? Please share so I don't feel like I'm the only "Tool Magnet!"

Love, Chelsea